"Son," the father says, examining the broken petri dishes littered about the floor, “I’m not a mad scientist, I’m just a disappointed scientist.”
I don’t even care what you think this is the best post I’ve ever made
apparently girls don’t like wearing bras. who knew.
We like to be naked
This is true
"What are you twelve"
Yeah on a scale of one to ten bye
i hate small talk
tell me about how lonely you are or tell me about why you keep waking up in the morning or talk to me about your mum’s eyes and your dad’s laugh. I don’t care about the weather and you don’t care about how my job’s going.
I’m so fucking in love with this.
fun prank: replace your kid’s weed with opposite weed so when they smoke it it makes them go to business school and get a degree in lawyer
Ah yes a degree in lawyer.
This is what it means to age gracefully…
God save the queen